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It’s rainy, dreary and my baby boy is at school today so I’m curled up with this guy…

Mmmmhmm I like him ;D

-Nhya

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I remember it was night..

The rain is coming down outside. In your car with you, the steam fogging up the windows. There is a light. Not sure where its coming from, but it covers you in the most delicious golden light.. You’re beautiful. Your hair is a mess from my hands running through it. Your skin is warm & wet from my body and lips. I’m on your lap. I can’t remember ever feeling more safe or free. Your hands are gripping my hips as you move within me. Your voice, oh God, your voice. Rich as chocolate, smooth as silk, hotter than the sun. With your lips touching my ear, you’re telling me, “I need you.. Baby I need you” With each passing moment. Each thrust more intense than the last, you open up to me. Through touch, breath, words, and kisses..

As we reach our destination together, I open my eyes. You’re watching me.. So intensely, I shiver. You speak but I can’t hear you. You touch me but I no longer feel you. I watch you as you disappear before my very eyes. You go from solid to mist, to nothing..

I’m left empty. Desolate.. I can still smell you. I hear your voice in my mind, but you are no more…

Have you ever felt that you lived a lifetime in a fleeting moment?

-Nhya

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I can’t explan it.. I can’t explain it.

The sweetest thing I’ve known..

It’s like when I hear your voice, think of you, or if I am just in your presence, I’m feeling the sunlight warm my face. I feel the rain wash and cleanse my body. I’m tasting the purest chocolate, all for the first time.

Your lips & tongue spreading across and licking the honey that is my skin.
Your eyes holding me there. Your heart never wavering. Your arms, your arms protecting me.
It’s cleansing, consuming, and beautiful to be with you in this way.
It’s frightening, enlightening, & real just to be with you period. In life. In love.
Wondering why and how it all came to be. And most importantly where it’s going..

Tell me, where do you want it to go?
Do you want it to end now?
Do you want to ride it out & hope that when the tide settles there will be “no hard feelings”?
Do you want the tide to settle?
Are you with me?
Are you feelin me?
Do you even care either way?

Talk to me…

-Nhya

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It’s raining… It has been all evening but it has looked as though it has wanted to rain all day.
This weather has always been a catch-22 for me. On one hand it’s perfect for hot cocoa or hot tea (chai). And great books, your favorite movie and blanket.. Or favorite person to cuddle with..

Or it could be the worst day if you have none of the above to go along with the mood of the weather, or because you had not the time to relax & reflect. To enjoy the day.. To make love to it. In every sense of the word.

For some reason today, I find I do not feel like myself. Or maybe I am more myself today than I have ever been.. Thinking about and living this thing called life. But I can’t shake this feeling that something is not present, that should be… Yearning for what’s real. Tangible, to the point of lusting for it so much that it almost consumes me.

Is it me? God? Someone else? I dont know… I only know that it’s not going away. It won’t let me brush it aside anymore..

la soif de la vraie..
(The Thirst for Real)

-Nhya
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