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Today I’m truly blessed.. I’ve reach another year of aging, but with the purity in heart resembling that of a child’s in many respects. Thank you Abba for the gift of life, love, courage and You.
*singing*
Happy Birthday to me! I’m 36 years young!!!!
-Nhya
Bill Cosby “I’m 83 and Tired”
I’ve worked hard since I was 17. Except for when I was doing my National Service, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I’m tired. Very tired.
I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.
I’m tired of being told that Islam is a “Religion of Peace,” when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family “honor”; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t “believers”; Muslims burning schools for girls; Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for “adultery”; Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.
I’m tired of being told that out of “tolerance for other cultures” we must let Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries use our oil money to fund mosques and Madrasa Islamic schools to preach hate in Australia , New Zealand , UK, America and Canada , while no one from these countries are allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia or any other Arab country to teach love and tolerance..
I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate.
I’m tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses or stick a needle in their arm while they tried to fight it off?
I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
I’m really tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.
I’m also tired and fed up with seeing young men and women in their teens and early 20’s be-deck themselves in tattoos and face studs, thereby making themselves unemployable and claiming money from the Government.
Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 83.. Because, mostly, I’m not going to have to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter and their children. Thank God I’m on the way out and not on the way in. There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference.
“I’m 83 and I’m tired. If you don’t agree you are part of the problem!
“You’re alive only once, as far as we know, and what could be worse than getting to the end of your life and realizing you hadn’t lived it?”
-Edward Albee
“In life, finding a voice is speaking and living the truth. Each of you is an original. Each of you has a distinctive voice. When you find it, your story will be told. You will be heard.”
-John Grisham
Just because one has endured unspeakable acts by the hands of another, does not mean one should remain in fear of living and loving. Taking back your power through living your life and moving forward in a positive way.
-Nhya
I just love my little guy. There are times when I just look at him in wonder. I think “Wow.. I can’t believe how much he’s grown. How fast the time has flown.”
I still remember the 1st kick I felt from him. The first day his father and I welcomed him into this world. And all the memories in between. I can’t believe what a blessing he is. And that I get to share in it. He has put so many things into perspective for me. For which I will always be grateful. It’s hard to imagine, (even though he’s only been in my life this short while) my life without him in it.
Mommy loves you Baby Boy!
-Nhya
Contentment does not equal laziness..
If someone is truly happy and content with their life choices, has no cause for complaints and has no desire to seek other things for fullfillment, how does this make them lazy?
If one is unhappy with their lot in life, they should never push their inadequacies onto another. Stop making your issues or inabilities to acheive your goals, someone else’s responsibility or failure… You want to be known as great? Recognized as someone other than ordinary? Then live with integrity in all things, not just when it’s convenient for you or your cause. Live with not just knowledge, but understanding without placing judgement upon others.
Live and seek the truth through facts and not assumptions.In essence, be real with yourself. Fix what is broken with you before you attempt to look at others. One cannot even begin to offer another, what they themselves do not possess.
-Nhya
Well, I personally believe that when a person’s season in your life is up, it’s up. Some people are just not meant to be apart of your life for a lifetime. Whether that’s a friendship or Lovers & Friends type of thing. The best thing to do is not really dwell on why they aren’t apart of your life any longer, but to reflect on the richness they added to your life while they were there.
-Nhya
I need to rejoice. She left here today in no pain. She’s home now…
I love you Granny.. I miss you. And I promise you, I will continue to live this life with you ever present in my heart.-Nhya
I miss…
What we all do I guess. When things were less complicated. Simple. But they were the center of our world. The most important things. The only things that mattered.I miss when the only care in the world I had was what I was going to wear to school.
If I was going to ever be able to get anything higher than a “C” in geometry. Would my heart ever open up again after my first love/crush, crushed my heart under his brand new Jordans and just walked away with his friends laughing..( Bastard.. LOL) How naive I was to think that I even knew what love was then.. Sometimes I think, what I wouldn’t give to experience that kind of hurt now. Compared to the hurt of what real love brings and what it takes away from you all at the same time. That “love” back then, was nothing short of blissful mercy..What I wouldn’t give to be walking up my Grandmother’s walk way to her porch. Smelling her good cooking as I step inside the door. Hearing her on the phone laughing with someone or yelling at my brother.. In her right mind. Sane and loving. And Hilarious talking to me. With no filter on her thoughts or emotions. Eating and laughing. Home. Safe. I miss that. I miss her.
I miss that first high you get when you realize the power you have over a man. When you are seen and recognized not as a girl, a friend, or a buddy that one knows, but a woman. A woman he must have. A woman that he will stop at nothing to get. To earn my favor.. And all the richness that follows..
I miss the experience of having my very own place the 1st time around. When it was just me. I could come and go as I pleased. I only had me to worry over. No need to fret if my actions or thoughts would affect another. Another whose well being or heart is depending upon me. No pressures of such a life.. But no true joy either. I realize that now. I’ve known this truth for quite awhile. Since I was blessed to know, to be included on the secrets of what keeps a heart beating with love. With passion & compassion.. With joy inspite of…
Although at times I miss this simple, warm, loving place.. The past. I am ever grateful that I’m living the present. All this hurt, all this joy, I’m living it now… And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
-Nhya
Disconnected but Returning…
I’ve been a little under the weather this past week, but alot disconnected from life in general these past few months.. Some things have been great, some not so much. But this is not the point.. The point is, I should be happy, more than thankful & grateful that at least I have things to complain or be happy about in my life.. It means I’m blessed to have a life.. Period. Memories to reflect upon. I’m here. I get to see and watch my son grow and be there for him.With everyday things in life, sometimes we tend to forget to see the beauty in them. In the mundane.. The fact that they are happening at all is a miracle in itself.
I’m thankful for this life. All the good, the bad, the ugly, and in between. I’m thankful. For the unexpected & indifference I’m thankful. In the midst of my hurt, confusion, & clarity I’m thankful. It reminds & keeps me grounded, humble, & alert. It keeps me strong, real & beautiful. It keeps me loving and loved in return.
I’m fighting for what is real and trying to let go of all the illusions surrounding me.
But before, during, and after these battles I’m still… Thankful-Nhya
Message of the Day!
-Nhya
Quote of the Day!
If you end up more confused than when you started, it actually means you learned something…-Pablo
This is what it is to be loved by him..
I feel savored yet devoured all at once.. He reminds me that life without passion, is death..
My life without his passion is beyond death..Where is he taking me? Where is our destination going to be?
-Nhya
It shouldn’t matter. Why am I surprised? Why am I hurt?
Could it be because I have to face the fact that I am just like those who never gives up hope, who never stops seeing the good in people. No matter how ugly of a mask they continue to show?
No matter how much I have convinced myself that there is no way I could be like HIM. My flesh says “Why try?” Even though I know that is all that HE wants me to do.. So I find myself still trying to see others the way HE does. The way HE sees me. Without the ugliness. The selfishness. The very core of where deceit lives, thrives. I am no better.. My demons are just different from yours. Who am I to say how one should treat another, or react? Who am I to even have the nerve to be pissed about it?Our demons may be different, but we both have them nonetheless.
But still, right is right, wrong is wrong. What kind of person would I be if I did not voice such things when they occur? I may not want to hear the truth of my own short commings, but I’m always thankful when they are voiced to me with love and the intent to better me, not drag me down. But I’ve learned that no matter how the truth is brought to you, if a person does not want to hear it, if their heart is hard, they won’t see the love behind your voicing it. Nor will they appreciate it when all is said and done…But that’s their problem. I’ve done what I can do. If you won’t heed to it, or be compassionate enough to care, then that’s on you. Not me.
We have opportunities in life to “Man up or Woman up” It’s these moments which define us. reveals what we are made of. Shows us and those around us if we are worthy of what we expect from others. If we even have the right to expect anything..
Hey, I am no authority here. In my short life here on this earth, I’ve failed as much as I have succeeded. I’m still learning. I’m still growing. God still has alot of work ahead for me.. But right is right, wrong is wrong. And I will continue to stand firm in my belief no matter how hard & hurtful things become..
-Nhya